FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
