I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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