Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
