Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I would ride that face into the sunset
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
