Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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