They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
