I should be sponsored by Trojan
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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