Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
