I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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