nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
