I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
