hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
