know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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