Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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