please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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