There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
vagina is talking i cant
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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