So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
