How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
