you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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