i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
