Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
