And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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