The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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