I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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