Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
