the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
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