I want to make a zoo with you.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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