I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
