What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
