with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
