Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
