I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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