New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
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