some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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