I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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