please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
