And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
