i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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