yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
