Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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