I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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