What a fucking waste of an outfit
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
