you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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