ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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