all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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