Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
