..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize