apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
