forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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