I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
