covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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