omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
3pm strippers are depressing
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
