"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
