Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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