She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
