Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize