I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
