check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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