I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
