I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I have tasted many bathrooms
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
