Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize