He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
