If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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