her vagine was all disorganized.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
