That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize