I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
don't judge my taste in strippers
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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