I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
