Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
