covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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