god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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