He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
