Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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