We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
