Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
