It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Randomize
