And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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