Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
