you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
